unpredictable..

今天， 朋友告诉我我们的朋友父亲过世了。。当时还在睡着，突然就醒了。。很突然。。后来，我和朋友谈了下。。也没敢去问候她还是拨电话给她什么的。。想她应该会很忙，加上现在是考试时间，她今天就没去考了。。

这一年里，听到好多不好的消息。。朋友之中的也很多，都是关于家人的，自己差点过不了生命关头的也有。。突然觉得生命真的很短，好像随时都会轮到自己似的，或是另一个自己认识的。。有一种很无奈（应该是吧，我也不知道）的感觉。。即使知道，也明白如何要把这命过得好，可是就是懒。。再不前进就会堕落了，时常酱子对自己说。。我想也是吧。。前面的路还有那么长，你不要走好歹也爬过去啊，如果连爬都不想的话，那就等着被人踩了。。

明天有考试，可是到了今天还是没有心要念书。。下星期的科目也都还没温习完。。唉。。连自己都不知道自己在做什么，要什么。。

考试中的朋友，加油。。

无题....

今天是我们Business Law的最后一堂课。。讲师给了我们一些练习，好让我们对考试有准备。练习是从以往的试卷取出来的，有些难，一些较简单。。真的，做完她给的习题，有一种去买 “风水地” 的感觉。很绝望。。难怪她从第一堂课开始就对我们那么严格。。

到后来的后来，课完了。在我们带着破碎的心离开讲堂前，她说了一些，我想也想不到她会说的话。。有点感动，其实。。她说不会做没关系，千万不要想着要作弊。因为作弊被捉到的下场就是会被提出学校。。她说不要为了这么一张比较难考的试卷，去做那么不值得的事（因为我们是第一次学法律，所以会比较辛苦）。。不及格，大不了就重考，千万千万不能作弊。被提出学校就浪费了你接近两年来的一切努力。。很苦口婆心的感觉。。原来她不是那么看不起重考生，虽然她每次都在班上（带有讽刺地）骂他们。。原来，当她说会失去两年的一切时，我才发现，虽然这科系不是自己喜欢的，可也放了好多心思在里头，至少是在每次考试和课业上。当时，第一个念头就是，那我的家人怎么办？。。好怕会让他们失望。。所以会一直那么努力。。原来，我开始不是为自己而活了。。原来，我没有方向了，除了考好成绩，除了以后要找有前途的工作，除了不要让他们担心。。

有点渺茫的感觉，对我的未来。。好久没试过了，对自己那么没有信心。。今天才发觉的。。当我终于答对讲师的问题时，我一点开心，自豪的感觉都没有。。反而有点失望。。不知道为什么。。我承认，平时的我是有点骄傲的，好像在答对问题时候，会有一种 “原来那么少人可以答对” 的想法。。可是今天，明天，以后的以后，我不知道了。。

昨天做工那边发生了些事，就赶回去了。。怎知，原来与我无关。。唉。。他们有跟我道歉。。可是，有一些内疚。。因为是要同学载我回的，而且平时跟他话不多。。今早还要载我回来宿舍。。在此，谢谢他。。

原来，人始终是人。。

rainy day..

now is 0314, 24th Aug..today is his birthday..my ex..dont know why,think a lot about the past moments we had it together..dont know why..they just came into my mind suddenly..i thought i had already forgotten..at least not to remember..but still..haiz..i dont know and i dont wanna know..just that,turn my mind to other things..maybe this could help..yea,it works..haha..anyway,happy birthday to him..

whole day raining today..rains always could make people down..and lazy somehow..skipped a tutorial class today..coz dont feel like going..dont wanna face the bore tutor..haha..went to library,photostated some past year questions..but dont know whether can finish it before the final..haiz..13 days more to my final,yet still dont have the mood to study..haiz..back from library,watched 'Bleach'..a quite nice animation..haha..coz dont feel like studying..laziness..haiz..had a nap after that..suppose is a short nap,but..i overslept..5 hours sleep..until hui chen called me ask whether wanna buy dinner for me..haha..laziness..haiz...

was thinking to cook noodle today..dont feel like eating much..then Qi Qi asked whether to go out n eat..i agreed..a tong shui shop..no vegetarian..i suppose..haha..watever la..juz ignore all the onions and meats..still can eat..haha..had a bowl of tong shui as well..total rm2.80..quite cheap..very full...haiz..

study at hui chen's room after that..cum chatting..hha..it alwys happen..coz chui hui wanna use my pc..so lo..have to shift myself to other place..haha..forgotten that i asked jason to canteen to study..until i saw the misscalls..omg..haiz..then quickly rush down to meet him..there's a new indian stall..juz operate their biz..biz quite good..jason ordered mee goreng,after a burger..i couldnt eat..coz duno wat ingrediants they put..have to be strict of myself..haha..watever..i'm not hungry as well..*self-comforting*..haha..

bcoz of the weather ba..feel so cold..plus,group of indian guys and girls smoking there..cant stand the smell..then come up..leave him alone again..haha..done some revision..all the sections i memorised last time..all forgotten..haiz..a fren of mine,dont know why..wasnt in a good mood yesterday..we asked,she doesnt say much..then she went to her fren's room..sms also reply in a short way..dont know what happened..a bit worry bout her actually..haiz..maybe she gives herself too much stress ba..haiz..

a very nice weather to sleep now..yet havnt feel the sleepiness..haha..going to study again later..haha..wanna change my lifestyle in 2 weeks time..to a bat's lifestyle..i hvae to..haiz..btw..till now still not really comfortable with my roomate..in a minor way..no offence when typing this..juz that..dont feel cmfortable when there's another person around u when u r studying..haiz..but what to do..i have to get used to it..i'm not a disipline person..that wake up and sleep at a certain time..somehow..i scared will make her bu shuang..haiz..watever la..have to face the problem..

all the best to whoever is having exam like me..dont stress up urself ya..haha..relax makes a clearer mind..and..hapi birthday to today's birthstars..happy alwys.. =D

itsuki_cwt

Tag from Edwina...

Instructions : Paste the following on your blog and tag people to answer the questions below. Have them tag other people. Your tagged friends will answer the questions about you.

1. What is your friend's name?
edwina..siew mei..my darling..hehe.

2.Jock, Geek, Prom Queen/King, Loner, Friendly, Flirtatious, Promiscuous, Pick a word from the list that best described your friend.
Jock

3. Choose 5 adjectives to describe your friend.
Friendly, Lovely, Conscious, Sporting,

4.What colour do you think best associates with your friend?
Green..as sporting as green..i feel it la..ha..

5.In ten years time, where do you see your friend?
I think i might have stayed in her hotel during a biz occassion..haha..

6. Describe your friend's blogging style.
Great!!..can 'see' her feeling on her post..

7. And I tag...
Destiny..keke..

busy..

It has been quite some time i never update my blog edy..haha..so busy recently..+ my laziness..that's the result..haha... erm..just finish watever courseworks i have last week..pity some of my frens..still having presentation n test..cham..erm..now's week 13, 2 more weeks to final exam...haiz..havnt get to start anything..dun have the mood yet..haiz...have to strat by this week edy..jia you lo..hehe..

ate a lot these few months..duno why..apetite bcome so good edy..haha..somehow..it's not a good news..fat like hell now..+fatty+..haiz..my aiya lao dou told me that no matter how i fat is still thin..he doesnt understand..+sob+..haiz..have to start diet edy..spend lotz of money n body shape to fulfill my 'eatness'..haha..what a horrible thing...haiz..zzz n eat all the times..

adddicted to IQ games recently..haha..friend's receommedation..erm..quite fun actually..but also found some true facts through tat..ie. i have a pretty low IQ..haiz..disappointed..but nvm..at least i still have a clear mind..erm..haha..self-comforting..some till now still havnt get to get through of it..i mean the games..haiz..watever la..keep trying~..haha..read a news recently..about a little young girl..who has a IQ of 150 if i'm not mistaken..haha..damn smart cute gal..hehe..but i was wondering..will she has a normal life like us?..being such a super genius..er..God knows..haha..

Mlao Band..long time didnt contact them edy..duno how're they all doing..once graduate very hard to meet up edy..haiz..erm..still got 'Lobak'..haa..owayz sms me de..thx lotz..keke..but then so sry for not replying u..coz..sometimes te timing is really not ngam la..haha..k.i.t ya..haha..

erm..many ppl born in this month actually..going to bankrupt soon..haiz..now my purse still left rm10..haiz..muz appreciate..if not next 2 weeks..i'll die of hunger..haha..the important point is that..i have a poor financial planning..who can hlp me..+sob+..haiz..

my mum went outstation edy..last weekend juz left my dad,2 bros,my grandmum n me..yea..luckily grandmum is here..if not duno wat to eat oso..btw..something happened in the place i work..haiz..human beings..haiz..mum not here,have to drive by myself edy..bcome more careful than before..erm..mayb bcoz of that accident ba..n now i can calm myself dwn when feel like wanna speed up..haha..it's a good thing ba..haha..perhaps my cousins n bro wouldnt scared by me..haha..n ya..my dad owayz remind me not o drive too fast..haha..my lovely dad..owayz so caring in any way..erm..maybe the last car repairing cost him a lot ba..hehe..so sorry about that..

cannot remember of what i should write edy..haiz..mentally old..haha..then here comes to the end this post lo..haha..all the best to whoever i knew..n especially for my darling - muacks..miss ya much.. =D

wuiteng

Accident..

Today is obviously not my day...juz too many things happened on me..haiz..maybe i'm too tired to face all these..i think i am..first of all,i'm suppose to come out with a dance by this week,unfortunately..what we think of is not really suitable their need..then all of us change the steps of that dance..yea,it has actually become better..maybe it's bcoz we dissucssed and the result of that than only 2 ppl learning the whole dance from video is totally different..yea..finally we all satisfied..although the whole thing havnt emerged clearly..

second,bout my brothers..my elder brother..erm..better attitude this week..perhaps he will remains such sttitude ler..he talked,we chatted..and we had actually back to the previous relationship..as close as the past..while my younger brother..haiz..more worse..his result has drop and yet doesnt intend to put in more effort on his studies..accordin to my mum,he's always think of the online games..if my mum refused to open the protected PC for him..he'll like..'bu shuang' for the whole day..dont even want to eat anything..haiz..duno why..n my dad was wondering..why cant they think maturely..at least not to addict on online games..just control a little and put more offort on their studies and behave better to their mum..haiz..it's like..one of them has to actually repeat the level because of his poorness of english..yea..english course..sometime was thinking..are we expecting too high on them?..i am the person that will set a quite high target for myself..but am i setting the target for my beloved brothers as well?..haiz..

back to the topic today..i have involved in an accident..bang by other car..it's like..he's in front of me,then he stopped..meaning i should have stop as well la..and i do stopped behind him..then dont know why,he suddenly move back..meaning his car is going to bang on mine..blur me..dont know what to do..dont realised that i should move backward as well or at least hon him..haiz..dont know what's happening on me..then,my front part kena bang..ask him to compenssate,he said what follow him to simewherelse to disscuss with his boss..sth like that la..dont know why,i told myself not to follow..and i didnt follow..but after that i flashback..i should go to his 'boss' there(i think becoz he's juz a staff i think,cannot make his own decision)..mana tau..juz a clip of eye..he disappeared edy..dont know where he went..then i drove to the place he told me to go(roughly know where it is la..),dont have his car also..what the...he lied!!..and the most damn thing is,when the time of the accident,i forgot to take down his car plate number!!..what the..haiz..disappointed on myself..after he's gone then only i thought about it..haiz..

my dad and mum obviously was not happy with this case..and i was wondering whether i'm able to drive in the future or not..it's like..most of the time i drive sure have sth will happen..really scare edy..duno ler..haiz..hereby,wanna thx my elder brother for comforting me..hah..i'm not tough enough to face all these sudden situation..what to do?..haiz..perhaps i'll improve..

oh yea,today is kahseng and kahweng's birthday..and we had actually celebrated with them..oh yea,forgot to tell,they are twins..that's why celebrating on the same day..hah..snap photos and recorded quite a number of videos today..haha..a memorable day..once again,happy borthday..

one more thing..Mayday's new album..离开地球表面..very nice..woth listeng..

all the best!!

itsuki_cwt

我回来了!!

久违的部落格，我回来了!! 终于可以上网了。。+开心+。。对于期待我的新帖的朋友们。。抱歉啦。。嘻嘻。。现在就写，as I promised.. 哈。。

先简单讲一下我的生活。。基本上都还好。。还是一样那么多东西做，(因为拖着拖着，堆积如山啦。。哈) ，还是酱三八，还是酱blur。。只是最近跟舍友的关系好像疏远了。。不懂为什么。。也不记得那里有弄到她不开心。。+烦+。。可能她读书压力大吧。。希望是。。再来，我有新的室友咯!! 当当当当。。。她就是。。中学时期蛮好的朋友----慧娴!! 没有想过，会跟她同居。。哈。。跟她相处下来，还不错啦。。+预料中+。。不过有时候我的脾气会令到她受不了吧。。有时候语气会重了点，脾气会怪一点，说话会简短一点, 对人会冷淡点。。慎重的对你说。。对不起。。可能我还是比较适合一个人住吧。。自己也不是那种会说话的。。有哪里得罪的，千万千万要告诉我(这句话我已经重复好多遍了。。唉。。) 不过，跟你同居，还不错啦。。哈。。得空三八三八下。。日子还算过得去。还有还有，阿娴啊，不要每天读书啦。。看到我都有点压力了。。还好我们不是同一期的。。+侥幸+。。

前天刚从生活营回来。。不是去玩啦。。是带人去玩。。哈。。不过也是蛮爽的啦。。我的队员都很棒!! 从他们身上，学到很多。。每次带不同的队，都会学到不一样的东西。。+感激+。。谢谢你们。。我可能不是很好的辅导员，可是你们是很好的队员。。真的。。有看到很多很有潜质的。。要加油哦。。你们一定行的。。我们的队，也有从别的祖县来的。。很谢谢你们的到来。。真的很棒。。从而看到自己的道学和各方面的不足。。抱歉，献丑了。。认识了蛮多人。。+开心+。。+满足+。。偶的室友和舍友都有去哦。。她们也说不错。。哈。。

有一个环节，难忘难忘。。可能没有第二次酱的机会了。。就是---吞火!! 哇塞，是真的把火吞下去耶。。需要多大的勇气。。我们都做到了!! 。。+掌声+。。哈。。还有一样就是鲜少队能做到的，哈。。+光荣+。。就是用20枝水草把一粒生蛋包起来，然后把它从肩膀的高度丢下。。基本上蛋都会破的，或多或少啦。。可是我们队的。。竟然不破!! 。。奇迹。。因为时间不足，没把蛋扎稳，还有一大半露在外头。。原以为还想，破定了。。结果我们还用念力，把讯息传给蛋蛋。。哈哈。。可能因为没有扎稳的关系，它才不破的。。说明了压力也是如此，压得太紧，往往会崩溃掉。。奇迹都是在你没注意的时候发生的。。信念，会更重要吧。。还有很多很多游戏。。都蛮有意思的，辛苦那么多工作人员了。。

好累好累。。回到来就倒头大睡了。。哈。。等到起身想吃东西时，才发现。。干粮吃完了。。唉。。先挨着饿吧。。等下放学再跟舍友去添货，还有一个月就考试了。。要多买些。。哈。。最近用了好多钱。。生活营+上网费+朋友的毕业典礼+朋友生日+吃喝玩乐。。。哇塞。。破产了。。不知怎的。。最近吃很多耶。。竟然连续吃了两包饭盒，然后直接睡。。把钱都吃光了。。身材又有走样的痕迹了。。惨。。

不过咧。。总的来说。。生活过得很充实是真的。。哈。。+满足+。。希望不会沉迷于上网吧。。哈。。偶的‘大大孝’ 。。正在努力着。。加油!! =D

P/S: 所有认识我和我认识的，好好努力吧!! 。。
再P/S: 我是‘惠婷’ ，不是‘慧婷’ 啦。。 =.=

29.03.2007

好久没有写部落格了..因为上网时间少了,加上最近都比较忙..忙上课,功课,做工,补习..每天都有东西做..一天一天都在这样被看似充实的日子中渡过..学校的功课茫然,做工的压力大,在佛堂有愧疚感..唉..差不多每晚恶梦,有一次被吓醒时刚巧是凌晨4.44,还真恐怖..生活那么忙,唯独感情一片空白..有位朋友应该比我更难受吧..那种'新郎结婚,新娘不是我'的心情..唉..

刚拒绝了一个男生..追求我也有一段日子了..他的条件,还蛮不错的..年级轻轻(大我一年而已哦..),就有了间公司(和别人partner啦..),自己赚钱买车,学历高,头脑转得快..若是以投资者的角度来看的话,他,绝对是个不错的资产..哈哈..可怜的他,被我说成那样..很可惜,我并不是一个好的投资者,我拒绝了他..因为..没感觉..是其中的理由..再来,可能他太会做生意了吧..总觉得他的眼神里,带着猜疑,像是我说的跟外面那些生意人那样不可靠..女人的直觉,很准的..不够真,就已经出局了..最不喜欢别人在我面前带面具,而且是那种带那么多层,还在装做若无其事..这样连做朋友也没什么意义吧..唉..还有另一些原因,令我不得不讨厌他..我不否认,我真的开始讨厌他了..能另我讨厌的人实在不多,他真容幸..哈哈..至于他做的那件另我对他'改观'的事..就歪提了吧..想起都觉得恶心,还搞得我有点洁癖了..

另一方面,跟他有传了几封简讯,吃了顿午餐,通了通电话..说实在的,还真要感谢他..事发那晚(上述说的恶心的事),他发了封简讯来,问我好不好..虽然知道他的用意不只这样,(应该是想帮女朋友问减肥方法吧..),还是觉得开心..竟然有人在我心情不好,觉得世界都是肮脏的时候,给了我最真挚(partial)的问候,虽然只是很巧的,我那时很down..还是回了他'我很好'..对他而言,我好不好,不再是重点了,既然是这样,何不说一些更有意义的..他问的问题,我答了..用充满疑问的心情,回答了..聊着聊着,睡着了..因为很累(捐了血..+开心+..18岁的愿望之一噢..),从减肥到电影..很巧的,我们看了同一场电影,有一样的感受..顺便宣传一下,'Bridge to Teribithia'...超好看的..少一点童真的人,就会觉得那套片子没意义了..哈哈..我们都是有童真的..哈哈..

说到捐血,第一次捐血,真的很开心很开心..没有遇见同学说的'懵懂护士',顺利并且以蛮快的速度捐完血(比一起捐的同学们快很多啦..)哈哈..其实蛮怕捐不成的,因为上次那医师啦..说我有轻微贫血..吓得我..平安过关!!哈哈..跟那里当值的护士和FAU members聊得蛮开心的.难忘的的第一次..嘻嘻...+开心+...+满足感+...+累+..

开心之于,也有难过的事啦..就是..不能跟朋友去Pulau Redang..+哭+..真的很想去..没有去过的地方,又有那么多朋友去..竟然不能去..唉..都是爸妈啦..说什么海边不能去...海啸都过了那么久嘛..而且今年运势也不错啊..骗人的..说我去年运不好哪里都不能去..白白乖了一年..今年还不是一样!!..唉..澳门,热浪岛,KK,全都不准去..唉..下次还是先斩后奏好了..嘻嘻..虽然明白他们的心思,不过也关得太紧了吧..唉..不管啦..今年一定要搞好自助旅行..一定要去..哈哈...

快考试了..还有一个月吧..唉..好快..功课都还没开始懂+动...唉..无论如何,加油吧!!哈哈哈... =D

P/S: 考试成绩要出了..+紧张+...
再P/S: 很想再试一次'心动'的感觉..谁可以帮帮我..哈哈..

又来了...

昨天回去公教中学,探望以前的老师和同学..顺便去接弟弟放学..嗯,都有见到很多老师,两年了,老师们都还记得我们..哈哈..有些还记得我们的班呢..哈哈..真的蛮开心的,跟老师聊天..哈哈..还有以前的同学,现在念着中六的,大家都还好谈,大家都没变..哈哈..他们旷了两节课,出来一起聊..哈哈...原来有些教过我的老师,在教着我弟弟的班呢..哈哈..真巧..

还有的就是,学校装修了很多..整体上还好..不过还是觉得我们那年的,会好一些..从大门看进去,的确很漂亮,很壮观..不过,拆了以前的那个阳台,里面变得很暗了..被那堵墙,冷冷的,虽然被华文学会会员布置得很好..不过,少了阳光的照射,会变得没有心情吧..再美的画,也代替不了那温暖的阳光吧..有时侯因为太晒,左躲右避的,那情景应该也不会再有了吧..哈哈...总是要进步的,装修应该是好事..哈哈..

过后跟朋友去Amcorp Mall 吃午餐..顺便在那等朋友..吃了,不大好吃的(因为那儿所谓的素,唉...算了),还好价钱还算可以..有时侯吃素真的很麻烦..像是旅行,虽然可以另外煮,不过难免会参到一些葱蒜..唉..出到外面,没有斋挡的,而那间真的没有合适的,可以吃的..就真的很惨了..在想着,还要不要清口..唉..不行哦..要坚定些才可以..嗯,可以的...哈哈..

然后跟他们去KBU,以前就很想去了的...一直很想参观别人的学院..上别家学院的课.哈哈...昨天,终于可以去了..哈哈..开心..虽然没去上课,不过还是开心啦..哈哈..顺便也让弟知道一下学院是什么样的..也有朋友要转校,就去survey一下咯..哈哈..

大概一个小时后,就回了..因为不大熟悉那里的路,跟车又跟错了..很心烦..兜回去再走过...怎知,闯了红灯还要差点撞车..是我不对在先,知道...还好没有撞到,不然真的很严重了..对方又是摩托车..唉..因为对方从隔壁转出来,我又直冲,唉..就酱咯..很奇怪的就是,我远远看到红灯,有煞车..可是一到红灯那,竟然去踏油..TMD..真的不知道怎么了..到底在干嘛!!!...当然,车上的,全都被吓到了...我弟,朋友,还有我...大家过后都静静的,没出声..我也专心地驾了..一直保持在60-80而已...怕了怕了..有一次也是这样..真的不适合驾车..唉..后来晚上朋友有sms我,说了一些话..她果然,吓到了..也不知道弟有没有告诉妈..有的话,以后不用想驾车了..唉..

前几天,因为刚睡醒就去接小弟放学..也是很有惊无险..因为那是,直接把我拉起来驾车,整个人还有点晕晕的那种..因为婆婆不放心我的技术,就跟来了..还好有她在,不然都不知道要怎样了..哈哈..不过,这件事,婆婆告诉了爸妈..哈哈..随便啦..预料中..哈哈...没事就好..哈哈..

P/S:友人说我应该多自信些..是时侯把他忘了..唉..再算吧..哈哈..在那友人的网页下载了两张有他的照片..开心哦..哈哈..

26 Feb

went to fren's hse last night..for 50% visiting + 50% ang pau purpose..haha..got my angpau of course..even though his family's not around..even we go visit him at 12am..seriously..haha..go fetch Ivan first..spend almost half an hour to find his hse..haiz..susah..promised dad will be back earlier,but..a bit drunk edy,dun dare to go home so early..coz i'm the type that kenot drink beer(even it's oni jolly shandy..haiz..),coz my face easy to get red..haha..dun dare to go home..then go yam cha with them..after playing cards..haha..chat lotz..share lotz..bout 3 oni reach home..tired..then still need to attend eng class the next day..really bores me stiff ler..but wat to do?..mum register de..for my own good..haiz..dun care a,after this level duwan eng class liao.haiz..

another great news..i've joined 'Malao Band'.it's a gang..forgot the full name liao..but it's sth sbout the 'anti lansi' de..haha..a wonderful king n 8 punkers..haha..cool..knew some of the members before that liao de..haha..they r juz nice..easy-going person..en..not bad not bad..haha.i'm the 3rd girl member..haha..proud to be..erm,the gang wil be bigger n bigger..believe it..haha..

it's 3am now..gonna go zzz lo..tmr nede to wake up early ler..haiz...

好想她...

新年快到了,游子们都回家乡了吧..明天就是年三十晚,一家人吃团圆饭的日子...想起n年前的这个时侯,我们父辈的亲戚,也会回怡保,一直以来都是这样子的..从来没有停过(农历新年,清明节,学校假期..都会回去..)..对我的家乡,有种特别的情愫吧..毕竟我是在那里出生长大的啊..加上以前一年回去几次的 习惯?..有好多回忆都是那里的,尤其是小时侯,表堂兄弟姐妹们,没有顾虑,心机的..还是很单纯,很不知道天高地厚,什么都想玩的我们...玩得好快乐啊,虽然换来的可能是长辈们的责骂,可是都不在乎,还会偷偷在他们背后说回他们呢(因为不可能当着面抱怨吧..哈哈..)..当时的我们,好怀念啊..好多好的不好的回忆,都在那..我第一次煮饭,还是在那里耶..哈哈..

不知道什么时侯,开始很少回去了..不知不觉地,一年没回,觉得还好,反正还有明年..可是明年,明年的明年,都没有再回去了..有叫爸载我们回去,只有我们三姐弟也没关系,总之就是很想回去..不为什么,因为那里是我的家,我们的祖屋..没有回去的原因,有很多..一,以前住在那的婆婆和姑姑,都搬出来KL了..二,因为那里没人住了,所以每次回去都要来一次'大扫除'..而且不是普通的那种,是要整间屋子,里里外外,把那些(好高好高的)杂草,(不懂积得多少尺的)灰尘,还有很多不知名的昆虫小动物,全部清除赶走..没有很多人耐得这样的工作,很累人的(不过过后换来的是大家聚在一起的笑声,值得..)..三,因为父辈那里闹不合了,唉..现在过节过日还能聚一起吃饭,也算好了..不过,聚的人,越来越少了..唉..现在聚的时侯,可能因为我搬出去住少接触的关系吧,觉得跟同辈的他们话题没那么多了..唉..好想念当时的我们哪,还没长大的我们,在祖屋..唉..

现在每年的农历新年,都不会待在KL,但是大年初一会一起吃早饭啦..哈哈..虽然每年都可以去玩,不过想回去是真的啦..小时候跟堂弟妹们的梦想,都会变成愿望了..唉..'到不了的都叫做远方 回不去的名字叫做家乡'..南拳妈妈的其中一首歌,忘了是什么歌名,不过歌词很印象深刻..

再见了,我的家..想你噢..

情人节快乐

一直以来忙着考试,都没有update我的部落格..抱歉哦..哈哈..大致交待一下,考试考得不大好,全部可以及格就好了,不要求太多...跟家人的关系,也慢慢OK了..上次为了某些原因,加上另一些原因,而吵架..吵得很凶呢..事后也有后悔..不过,现在已经OK了,就好了..以前的事,就忘了吧..唉.

看了 Death Note 2,还蛮不错的..越看越喜欢'L'了..哇..很有头脑,很吸引人,虽然主角是夜神月..可是还是龙崎更引人注目..对吧?反正现在假期,就把'死亡笔记'的漫画追完了..跟电影有很大的落差,不过那电影制作也还好啦..哈哈..过后要看'Bleach'...哈哈..听说还蛮不错呢..

对了,今天是情人节..刚过十二点时,有好多同学朋友都有祝辐呢..在此谢谢各位朋友的祝福..尤其是我的Darling哦..想你哦,可是不能和你过情人节,唉..失望..不过没关系,往后还会有很多的情人节让我们过..哈哈...前提是,双方都没有男朋友咯..哈哈..Darling,明年的,等你咯..哈哈..他,也有传简讯过来,介绍了几本书给我..是很不错的书呢..他说,希望我能长大一点..没多说些什么..情人节的那个凌晨,我流泪了..不知道是太想念还是什么,一直以为眼泪已经流干了的时侯,竟然再此因为他而流泪了..

第一次跟朋友们过,去了 Sunway Pyramid,很早 (因为怕没有Parking,果然,很难才找到一个)..先和朋友'血拼',应该算是陪她吧..不过自己也买了一件 T-shirt, 因为...蛮可爱的,反正我也很少T-shirt,价钱也算合理...哈哈..就酱咯..哈哈..走了很久,在里边..有点闷了,人都还没到齐..唉..结果,3只小猫坐在麦当捞等另外两只...真是的...不过也还好啦,大家都聊了很多,很搞笑的,关于自己的..都有..哈哈..等人的同时,我们就先自己聚了..哈哈..

后来,有舞台剧的演出..'灰姑娘'..很经典的童话,情人节嘛..哈哈..虽然这世上是没有童话故事的存在,唯一的(戴妃和查理王子),也已经没有了..不过,他们的演出,真的很好..哈哈..以芭蕾舞为主要演出..嗯..真的不错..

整天就这样过去了..回到家,大概是九点多吧.没记错的话...有点饿,因为都没吃到什么..没关系,,还好还有婆婆的'爱心米粉'..留了最后一碟..()应该是吃不完的吧..哈哈..),粉感动的..好好吃..哈哈...

P/S : 在Pyramid时,有买了一枝紫色的心送给那位漂亮又有才艺的钢琴师姐姐(虽然她不会弹 The Rose)..她好高兴呢..拿着那枝'心'让她的朋友看..看到她这样,我也高兴..笑了一整天..让别人高兴,自己也会开心噢..哈哈..

婷
15.02.2007 1356 毕

朋友首日封

朋友首日封
作词:陈静楠作曲:光良

夕阳洒在我的笑容 感觉咖啡又苦又浓
握在手心 最后温暖只剩下几分钟

门外有自由在等你 胸口有空洞在等我
我们说好 要为彼此保重

挥一挥手 送你先走
我的潇洒微笑
像不像个小丑

少了情人 今后多个朋友
给你过头 多余的温柔
我来收

为事争得满脸通红 话语有时说得太重
退让一步
也许会有你想要的天空

挥一挥手 不再牵手
多想说我羡慕
你怀中的玩偶

少了情人 今后多个朋友
明天开始 我写的情书
谁来收

门外有自由在等你 胸口有空洞在等我
但愿我说不痛 会让你走得更轻松
你越走越远的背后 放心有我这个朋友
像个港口 欢迎回来停留

kini kita sudah pisah
mohon doa engkau bahagia
但愿我说不痛
会让你走得更轻松

kini kita sudah pisah
mohon doa engkau bahagia
我像港口
欢迎回来停留

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

給親愛的梅梅 Darling,

這首歌﹐是特地找給你的。。記錄了我們的友情﹐不變的友情。。知道了你要走的消息﹐一直都很不捨得。。原諒之前我沒有好好地﹐用心地﹐為我們的‘幼苗’ 澆水。。現在﹐有點想你了。。好想每天你經過時﹐都會‘順便’進來kacau這個Darling(說好的﹐這個名詞﹐是我們專用的噢。。不要隨便給讓了。。哈。。)
﹐好想你的體貼﹐好想你的可愛﹐好想。。。

門外有未來在等你﹐這裡有我們在守候。隨時歡迎回來停留。不要再傷心了噢。。你的Darling﹐我﹐會很心疼呢。。我們都很堅強呢。。忍着都沒哭﹐反而是你﹐哭成那樣了。。這樣不行噢﹐哭的小孩不好看的。。

至於傷心的事﹐看開些就好。。有什麼事﹐別忘了還有我﹐會一直為你加油﹐會一直支持你的。。你們﹐會再見面的。。以後的以後。。希望她往後能很幸福﹐即使不能陪在你們左右。。你會祝福她的﹐對不?

可能會去你那兒找你。。反正都那麼靠近我家嘛。。哈。受到欺負﹐不要擅自把委屈吞掉﹐不可以噢﹐要記得找我們。定定幫你出頭的。。還有好多好多話想說﹐可是時間偏偏那麼殘忍。。都還沒聊夠﹐就要分開了。。

‘你越走越远的背後 放心有我这个朋友 像个港口 欢迎回来停留’ 。。說我霸道還是要說的了﹐‘一定不能忘記我們啦。。’ 一輩子的﹐都要手拉手。。說好的﹐有什麼大浪都要一起走過!!...

唸書的同時﹐要好好照顧身子﹐不要每次那麼遲睡。。Darling ﹐保重了。。會想你的。。

婷
06.02.2007 1903

Aza aza fighting

Had my 1st paper today..actually is yesterday la..over 12am edy..doesnt do well..out of expectation..coz done lotz of past years papers..from 2003 till 2006,every semester..haiz..duno how many nites spend in the study room,keep on doing questions like hell..but..the question comes out was totally out of expectation..haiz..now juz hope i can pass the paper lo..nothing much i can ask for..at least,i've tried my best..juz comfort myself with these words lo..n spend the whole day with drma n snacks..juz to make myself feel better..silly huh?..haiz..no mood to study..

Saw him this morning..we r taking the same paper..from far i could see him,with a pretty + mature girl at 1st,then a guy joins them..duno whether he saw me or not ler..he seems like so concentrating..like the look when he's serious..attracting..GG..

After i get the question paper..feel so sorry to him..what i was expected,didnt come out..juz come out around 40%..not good in aiming questions..n the thing is,i told him what i was expected...he sure feel dissappointed ler..nvm la..sure dun have next time liao lo..juz forget bout him la..have to do so..due to some purpose..

My fren said that i'm a bit different during finals..every final exam sure like tat..erm..it's like,too nervous before exam and then bcome blur liao..ask me question i oso duno how to answer..n i really feel that ler..coz everytime before enter the venue sure feel like want to faint liao..wanna ask whether this can sure a?..coz really..a big problem..since high school..haiz..after exam wanna eat ice-cream relax a bit pun tak boleh..coz my fav ice cream stall didnt open today..haiz..

Going to zz lo..tmr have to wake up early to study..haiz..next week 2 tough subject come together ler..soal..today enjoy whole day liao (actually is yesterday ler..ha)..tmr (suppose to be today..)have to jia you lo..

To all the candidates..GAMBATE o..aza aza fighting..haha...nitez..

P/S : omething dun like but i have to admit..ie,i still miss him much..haiz..words for him,have to jia you o..right here praying for u..

味道

好久沒上線了。。因為電腦中了毒﹐加上有些部份有點問題﹐就拿去修理了。。期間有好多東西想post的﹐最後等不及也就用手寫了。。除了日記﹐還給他寫了信。他不會有機會讀到的信。一封封﹐被壓在抽屜裡。。被壓的不止信﹐還有用不完的思念﹐淚水﹐情感。。

今天去上了他的課﹐沒見着他。。我是來上課的﹐一直這樣告訴自己。。算了吧。。也都知道是自欺欺人罷了。。算了。。課沒上完就走了﹐沒有心情。。反正那堂課就不是我應該去的。

回到宿舍﹐沒有睡意。即使才睡了三個多小時。。白天讀書不進腦﹐就上網聊天下載歌了。找了首舊歌﹐辛曉琪的‘味道’(因為跟同學聊到味道的課題) 。蠻好聽的﹐也代表了對他的思念。。好想念他。。他的微笑﹐霸道﹐溫柔﹐等等。。這些﹐都不曾忘記。有時還會學他的語氣說話﹐不懂為什麼。很懊惱的是﹐我留不住他的味道。。屬於他的味道。。被我遺忘了的味道。。不曾告訴過他吧﹐很喜歡他的味道。。那麼獨特的﹐竟然被我忘了。也找不回了﹐不是香薰店可以買到的。我怎麼可以這樣。。一直以來都記得的﹐怎麼會給忘了呢。。同學說﹐去找他吧! 找他﹐找回那味道。。很妄想﹐很直接的做法。。看來﹐我是真的要失去他了。。什麼都留不住了。。

前晚﹐夢見他。他病了﹐病得蠻嚴重的。臉色都變白了。。夢裡﹐我去探望他﹐關心他﹐問候他。。可是。。他﹐推開了我的手。不留余力的﹐在我一碰到他時。。心痛。真實得痛。。到後來的後來﹐他一直不肯見我﹐聽我說話。。夢裡﹐我哭了﹐在他面前﹐第一次。。或許是老天托的夢吧。。提醒我應該放手﹐應該忘了。。朋友說﹐不要固執的黏着不是你的幸福﹐這樣很難會找到真正的幸福。。說得對。即使他曾經是我的‘福’ ﹐但也是該找我的另一個‘福’ 了。。舊的‘福’ ﹐就丟掉吧。。沒用了。。

最近他有傳簡訊過來﹐問我關於考試的貼士。因為我們都會考同一科。一直告訴他沒有﹐老師沒說。事實上﹐每課都有關聯﹐實在沒什麼貼士可言。。老師也是這樣說的。不知道他有沒有在生氣。。唉。。如果有﹐不用他問我也會給他的。。同學說我想太多了。說不干我的事。可是為什麼還是覺得有點不舒服? 有讓他失望的愧疚感。。會在想﹐如果不是考同一科的話﹐我們會不會以後都不會再聯絡了? 他會繼續升﹐搬離現在住的地方。。不會再遇到了。。不要再遇到了。。

一切﹐就到此為止吧。。連那樣的夢都做了﹐真的要算了。。有朋友說18歲那年是最難以忘懷﹐最刻骨銘心的。。我贊成。兩個我愛的﹐都離開了。。18歲﹐我會記得。。

P/S : 在此祝我的網友能看開些﹐祝福舊情人﹐沒有想像中困難。。每個人﹐都要很幸福的生活着。。

惠婷

23.01.2007 0115

abandoned blog..coming back..

long time didnt blogging at here ler..coz using msn spaces recently..http://wuiteng.spaces.live.com..

juz chat with fren..we chat lots of things..then he said he blogging at blogspot..then oni i remember...i still have a blog at blogspotn have been abandom..haha..now updating lo..haha...

read back wat i'd post last time..different feeling...seriously..'wen gu zhi xin'...tat's wat ppl oways said?..think of him recently...is not recently..is always...oways get to think of him..duno y...the feelings?..my fren said all is expired liao..said that certain repeated feelings wont change oso...i think tat's y...keep on missing him...until my kor kor oao sien liao..ha..oways says tat he sien but i still the same...haha...

luckily got him...at least got someone to talk on when i'm thinking yang bukan-bukan..automatically will misscall him..then wait for his call..to ensure tat he's free..busy ppl ma..haha..frenship tat wouldnt change..perhaps..

'ppl are born to be alone'..duno when i 'created' this phrase..but feel really true..we came alone n gone alone...before relationship started we r alone,after break up goes back to alone again..how long ur frens can accompany u?how long ur family can take care of u?will be alone at last oso...tat's y..ppl are born to be alone..

talking nonsense here...craps...haha..it's late now..going to zzz liao..nitez to everyone...